Rainy Day Writing

Writing, Reading, Inspirations and Aspirations

Tag Archives: women’s humor

I’m off to the East Coast tomorrow to visit family. I haven’t seen them in two years, and I’m especially happy to be spending time with my only sister. It sucks, big suck, living so far away. In honor of the journey, I’m sharing an essay I wrote about the last trip I made to …

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Beef, It’s What’s for Dinner…NOT…I’ll Have an Egg Thanks

We eat a lot of eggs lately. Eggs for lunch. Eggs for breakfast. Eggs for dinner. There is something about eating protein before it’s born and developed arms and legs and wings and can cluck that makes eating protein seem a little less brutish. The problem with eggs is they are boring unless you dress …

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Groucho Marx and My Mediterranean Ancestors

Back in 1968, I was the Groucho Marx of ten year olds. I have the school picture to prove it. I had very thick eyebrows. They weren’t dark like Groucho’s, PTL for small miracles, but they were heavy. I also had some facial hair issues that sprouted up around that time, thanks to the glories …

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Writing, Mothers, and Memories

Sometimes, but not often enough, I sit at the computer and scroll through my writing files.  Poems, essays, short stories–essays, poems, short stories…nothing organized. It’s all just randomly saved on my little hot pink zip drive. There are no files for each genre of writing, it’s all just there, piled one on top of another, …

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Weighty Issues: I Surrender, Bring out The White Flags. (Better make em black, white makes me look fat.)

One day, a couple decades ago,  I looked down at my thighs and realized I had cellulite on the FRONT of my thighs. SAY IT ISN’T SO! I freaked out. I was getting close to forty by then, and I didn’t take it sitting down. I worked out harder, did more squats and walked the …

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Beauty and Pain

“Shut up. BEAUTY IS PAIN!” my sister yelled at me. It was meant to be funny and it was. Sort of. She was helping me dye my hair. I was complaining that shit was getting in my eyes as she rinsed my hair in the kitchen sink. There was no sympathy there, just a sharp …

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To Half and Half Not and Other Quirky Behaviors

I’m embarrassed by the idea of some studly young trauma center intern sewing up my hairy leg. Please God, let it be the shaved one.

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Adventures in Automotive Wonderland: A Mediocre Wife’s Confessions

My husband is a Car Guy. He bought his first car, a black primer 1955 Chevy, at the tender age of fifteen. His father took it away  from him before he was sixteen. Apparently, mysterious black rubber burn out tracks started appearing in the street in front of his house while he was at work, …

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Fat Dog, Fat Mommy: The Shameful Truth

we switched to a high quality slightly less expensive chicken and rice food with one of those wholesome sounding names–Whole Earth Farms or some other such nonsense. It sounded nice. Of course we knew it was not produced on a dog friendly hippy commune farm in sunny California, but most likely in a dog food plant in the industrial section of some mid-western town, hopefully NOT named Flint, but it sounded nice.

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Home Improvement: Drywalling–Keeping it a Hundred Percent

And you have regained your composure and your focus and you can go sit down in the corner of the living room where all the furniture is piled together in front of the TV, away from the “Work Zone”, and dream about how clean, organized and uncluttered your little love nest will be. Someday. As you rub drywall dust off your teeth with your fingers.

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