Tag Archives: Humor
Mantras for Old Age
This mantra has a deep, dark black aura, the color of a black hole in space whose gravitational pull is all powerful, completely unavoidable, and ultimately fatal. Just like old age.
My Bling Fling with Body Holes
I didn’t really miss the earrings because my hair was so big you couldn’t see them anyways, and if I wore dangly earrings they were in danger of bumping into my shoulder pads
Toilet Paper is Hard to Write On (and other helpful advice)
This is a revelation to me. Or maybe I already knew it but forgot. That happens a lot lately. I guess it might be because I don’t often have the need to write on toilet paper. Maybe because unlike most every poor woman in those cheesy Made for TV movies, I’ve never been abducted by …
Life After Sixty: Idle Threats
If we ever run out of food due to nuclear holocaust, at least I will know where to forage for bits of protein and fiber.
A Van Named “Christine?”
…I haven’t heard him cooing the name Christine yet as he’s buffing the back bumper…
Italy the Second Time Around: Fish Heads, Juggling Joggers and a Near Death Experience
I am not an itinerant world traveler. Indeed, at the age of sixty, I have recently completed just my second trip overseas. Like the first trip three years ago, I primarily visited the country of Italy, with just a day trip into Slovenia, which it turns out, is pretty lovely and felt quite familiar, but …
Random Questions: Food, Fat and the Space Time Continuum
What does the nut in doughnut refer to? Why is there not a national chain of organic doughnut shops? Do healthy people not eat doughnuts? What is wrong with them? Why would anyone drink coffee black when you can drink it with cream or half n half? Why does imported cherry syrup …
Living in The Country: Meet me Behind the Shop
I’m considering getting the old man a medic alert device. When he is out of my sight, there is no telling what he will get himself into. Today is a perfect example. Beautiful day. Warmest temperatures and bluest skies we’ve had this year. I’m in the kitchen peeling potatoes. He is tooling around on his …
Random Thoughts: David Sedaris; Travel, French Attitudes and Italian Food; Regularity; Life
I’ve been reading “When You Are Engulfed in Flames” by David Sedaris. I love how he makes me laugh out loud. I wish he was my friend and I could call him up and just listen to his witty little observations of the world and his exaggerated stories of the people he runs into. We could …
Rainy Day Writing 
Retrospective in Retrospect: The Long Term Effects of 2017 on a Weak Blogger’s Mind
Ilona Elliott ♦ January 8, 2018 ♦ 4 Comments
I tried to write a 2017 retrospective blog post and failed. Which was fitting, since 2017 in a nutshell equals: Sucked. Big Suck. Lately, since November at least, I am too mentally exhausted to write anything more than a few sentences at a time. And the paltry words I do manage to tack together …
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