Rainy Day Writing

Writing, Reading, Inspirations and Aspirations

I Rant Help Myself

Me and Cosmo

The Author (on the right)

I haven’t had a good rant in a very long time. Why it must be a couple of hours at least. So I need to vent a little bit of first world frustration. So here’s a list of ten things I’m tired tired tired of:

Trains blowing their whistles at the train crossing down the street in the middle of the night. This is a small town. NO ONE is out after ten pm, and if they are, they are probably up to no good and may have just stolen my personal property and therefore deserve to be hit by a mile long coal train. So stop waking me up all night with your incessant horn blowing. You may blow your horn for baby deer on the tracks though. I don’t mind that.

People driving in the left lane of a 70 mph interstate who think it’s like, okay to text while driving, like, I’m not hurting anybody, like, stop gesturing at me already you crazy old lady.

Foods seasoned with garlic powder. As if garlic powder bears any resemblance, flavor wise, to the actual vegetable. It doesn’t. It tastes something like a litter box smells. So please stop offending my taste buds with that Chemical Ali product. Thank you.

Ditto for so called “Lemon Juice” in little plastic lemons with green screw on caps. It tastes like skunk spray smells. We are not idiots.We can tell the difference.

Plastic stuff. With the exception of necessary and life saving medical devices, I would like to see all plastic products banned. Now I know most people can’t imagine life without plastic water and shampoo bottles and plastic bags to carry shit around in, and disposable plastic razors and pens and…well, you know, this could go on forever. But I’m telling you, life without plastic did exist at one time. YES, it did, and on THIS planet. Look it up. It’s mind boggling. While we’re at it, let’s ban that garlic powder and phony lemon stuff too.

Women who look good in yoga pants. The bitches.

Selfies.

Donald Trump.

People who think Donald Trump is a ______________ (good business man, acceptable presidential candidate, human being??–you fill in the blank. Who comes up with this shit anyways?

And last but not at all least…

People who sit around all day thinking about things to bitch about. Get a life already. It’s so counter productive. Unless it’s meant to be funny. Then it’s okay.

© 2016 by Ilona Elliott

 

 

 

 

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