Rainy Day Writing

Writing, Reading, Inspirations and Aspirations

The Rain is Pain and I’ve Got Bats in the Belfry

 

 

Photo: Ilona Elliott

Photo: Ilona Elliott

The rain is starting to get on my nerves this year. I know, I know–we needed a good wet/cold/snowy in the Cascades flooding in the Chehalis Basin kind of winter after the last couple of years of drought here in the Northwest. And I’m trying so hard not to be selfish and not to whine about things. I’m sure I’ve been through worse winters here. And last years wildfires were devastating on so many levels. So I should just act like an adult and shut up already but WAAAAA! I want to go out in the garden and play with plants.

Sure, I could go out there. I could put on my long underwear, sweats, fleece and heavy socks under my galoshes, drab green rubber overalls, rain slicker, wooly hat and  heavy, clumsy rubber gloves and not actually freeze to death. I would probably just get goose bumpy and sniffley and blinded by my rain speckled and foggy glasses. I could. I’ve done all that before. Many times. But I don’t want to be cold and wet and blind and  making so much noise in my rubberized protective clothing that I can’t even hear the birds tweet for goodness sake!

Besides, most of that gear is in my studio where the spiders live. The big spiders. The ones that love to hide in the clothes hanging from the rafters. And the possibility exists that a bat might be out there too, the rafter ties being open at the ends in several places as they are, making the perfect entrance for bats. I’ve never seen a bat in there, but the possibility exists. I know for certain they live in the pump house having had one drop from the inside of the door last winter when I was silly enough to open it. That is one creepy out building. And they live behind the shingles and siding on most all of the out buildings here in the big woods. They tend to get the old man ducking and flailing about on the top of his rickety aluminum ladder trying to dodge them when they flutter out of their little slumber chambers while he’s working. They didn’t used to creep me out so much until I read an article that reported that rabies infections caused by bat bites sometimes go unnoticed until the foaming at the mouth and tremors and excruciating pain starts. How the hell could you get bit by a bat and not know it? Maybe those cheesy Bella Lugosi movies weren’t so cheesy after all. At any rate, I’m not taking any chances with the rain gear. I’m staying in until the sun comes out. I’ll sit right here at the lap top sipping tea until the sun coming through those windows blinds me and makes the screen unreadable with the glare.

You may see me out there sometime in July. I’ll be pale, squinty eyed and dehydrated from the diuretic effects of drinking copious amounts of hot tea. But I will not be wearing rubber. And I will be smiling.

The Author (on the right)

The Author (on the right)

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10 Comments

  1. Even the most diehard mossbacks occasionally let off a little steam about moldy rain. And you lived in John Day awhile, for godssakes. Talk about living one foot in, one foot out.

    That second to last paragraph was a hoot. Did you know we get bats, too? We have enclosed back stairs to our second story when there was a small apartment up there years ago and the bats go in it every summer to stuff themselves with bugs. They probably eat their share of mosquitoes, which is nice. But man alive, they shit and piss all over the place and a couple times a summer I gotta put on a homemade biohazard suit and Windex the hell out of the joint. Every year I try to rig up some of that transparent netting you see on fruit trees in places to block the stairs partway up but I don’t do a good enough job and it always gets ripped down a bit and the little suckers find their way in. So sometimes I just line the steps up higher with newspapers. So to make a long story short, you’re gonna get bit by a goddamn bat and I’m going to contract hantavirus and maybe we’ll get lucky and stay in the same hospital and we can bitch to each other about how our gardens are going to hell while we’re out of commission, haha!

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    • I’ve cleaned up so much mouse crap in my life I am convinced I have hanta virus anti bodies. I wonder if you put up bat houses for them, would they move into some nice new condo apartments or would they still prefer the creepy old staircase? My money is on the creepy space! I’m not really into hospitals, but it would be tolerable with an interesting room mate like you TF!

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  2. I heard the same thing about bat bites! I’ve been terrified ever since. Our bedroom is in a dormer attic and while I’ve never seen one, I’m convinced they are there…just waiting for the right moment. Also, your comment about spiders has convinced me to completely abandon all dreams of living in a cabin in the big woods. My husband thanks you!

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    • You must read some of the same weird kinda shit I do Jean! While I respect the important environmental role of bats, they are kinda creepy. The creepy critters are inescapable in this world. I once knew a woman who lived on the beach and was jealous until she started talking about the rats getting in her house. Waterfront rats are usually Norway rats, much bigger than the wood rats we have in the woods. There is just something undeniably abhorrent about rodents…hope you don’t have any pet mice, lol.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Great. Now you’ve ruined my beach fantasy too. 😊

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      • Great. Now you’ve ruined my beach fantasy too

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      • I’m such a sadist.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Right now I’m so happy I live in a townhouse in an urban area with pest control services 4 times a year… Spiders & bats & mice, oh my!

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  4. I’m not a big fan of rain either. Then again I’m not a big fan of gardening. Today looks like a nice day for you! At least where I am

    Liked by 1 person

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